How to eat food when you have no appetite or motivation to eat, but you also don't want to pass out

So here's the thing: I love food normally. Unfortunately, I'm on some medication that makes it so that I have zero appetite, and half the time my body doesn't even bother to tell me it's hungry. This has resulted in a much smaller calorie intake than my 250 lb frame should probably have, and also eating out a lot because by the time my body does tell me it's hungry, I'm starving, possibly crying, and unable to make good decisions because my body needs food NOW, but I also don't want to cook anything and nothing sounds good. Do you see my dilemma?

My Brain

So here are some tips for those of you who also have this dilemma.

First, we need to start in advance of you getting hungry. (I know, planning ahead is not my strong suit, but it's worth it, I promise). It's SUPER helpful to meal plan and meal prep ahead of time if you can.

What's worked for me as a beginner food prepper person is to make a crockpot meal that I like enough to eat a few times. If I can set it and forget it, it might just work. I would only plan 1 or 2 of these a week though, because if it doesn't work out, that's a lot of food to waste.

However, if you can't because you hate leftovers and can't think about your food that far in advance most of the time, then it's important to know yourself and buy foods at the grocery store that are

 A. easy to eat (like, if it goes in the microwave or if it can be eaten raw it's easy to eat) 

B. tasty 

C. within your budget 

D. Are not just simple carbs. 

Now, obviously, this is easier said than done, right? Simple carbs are the EASIEST stuff to eat, and they sound the best. But here's the thing: you don't have to eat as often and you have more energy if you eat protein and fats too. 

Also, protip, if you eat something that has proteins/fats at the beginning of the day, you have more energy! And you won't have a crash. 

Some things that I've found are good to have on hand are things like: 

a gallon of milk

some protein powder or carnation breakfast drink

some eggs (you can actually make eggs in the microwave! just put it on a plate and start with like 2 minutes, and add 15 seconds until it's cooked the way you want. I always end up with a hard yolk so I can make sure it's done, but if you do scrambled eggs, it's perfect.)

a little salad kit that has all the toppings and dressing with it

if there are any raw fruits and veggies you like to eat get those (a veggie tray from costco is awesome because it's like $10 and it lasts you the whole week and comes with dip)

or if you don't like raw veggies, you can usually get veggies you can steam in the microwave for pretty cheap. (Some of them even come with a cheese sauce in them, so...) 

microwave burritos

corn dogs

chicken with sauce you can throw in the microwave (I like tyson's bbq chicken tenders)

Little meat pot pies you can microwave

Clif Bars or some sort of nutrition bar that has more than 8 g of protein and isn't half added sugars

I also have a bunch of things that are less good for you but will be ready in a pinch and I kind of live off of them at the moment. These things are: 

Instant ramen (I only like kimchi flavor because I'm a snob or something), 

mashed potatoes you can make in a cup in the microwave

instant rice dishes

macaroni and cheese in a cup (honestly, there are so many carbs you can make in a cup!!) 

They fill you up enough to make you sane again, so in the event that you let yourself get to the point where you're STARVING, but don't want to eat anything, these work.

Okay, so now you've gone to the grocery store, maybe planned out one or two meals to make throughout the week, or not, that's chill too, now you need to live your life. Some tips to make sure you eat regularly and don't just go out to eat constantly (because that ends up happening to me). 

1. When you're leaving the house, make sure you have food on hand that's easy to eat anywhere- a clif bar, trailmix, some carrots, whatever.

2. Plan when you're going to eat, and set timers for when to eat, however often you want that to be. There have been so many times where I'll just get absorbed in what I'm doing and forget that food is a thing. I literally have a bowl of mac and cheese next to me that I haven't touched yet because I'm writing this post. 

3. If you do end up in a situation where you're starving, all the food seems disgusting and you can't bring yourself to do anything, don't panic! decide if there is ANYTHING that you would be willing to eat right now, and even if it costs money, that's okay! It's most important that you eat right now! If there isn't anything you're willing to eat, find the thing that is going to take the least amount of time to consume. A clif bar or some such thing, or a shake or smoothie is usually pretty good in this situation. 

Anywho, I'm going to go actually eat my mac and cheese, but I hope this helps someone! 

Update, because I either post once an hour or basically never; there is no in between

Hey Guys!
So I have actually been doing amazingly. So amazingly, in fact, that I got an email from Under Armour giving me $40 off an order of $100+. I mean, I won't be using that, because I don't shop there, but it's nice to know that I've logged my food enough this month to get a coupon, ya know?

So I'm doing this thing where every week, I add a new challenge on to my list of challenges. So week 1 (and sort of 2 because I went on vacation and forgot to log my food) was to log my food everyday on myfitnesspal (I do accept sponsorships, guys) and that's it. Not consciously changing my food habits, or trying to hit macros, just recording what I eat. The next week was drinking enough water, which according to my favorite personal trainers, is half my body weight in ounces. So, my goal was 125 oz a day, or just a little over 5 24 oz water bottles full of water. Now this week, my goal is to eat 9 servings of fruits and veggies every day. It turns out, that's not as hard as it sounds.

How to actually achieve your goals... I think.

Hey guys!
So apparently I've been talking a lot about goal setting and my current journey to reaching some of my goals. I have accomplished a few goals (and I guarantee you have too) in my life, and I thought I'd write about some of the things I've learned. Feel free to comment on things you've learned from your experiences.

1. Be super ridiculously specific. "I want to write a book" is not specific. Technically, 200 words could be a book if you phrased it right. What kind of book do you want to write? A children's book? YA? Historical Fiction? Fantasy? Memoir? All of those will look very different, and have different appropriate lengths. What about editing? Do you want to publish it, or just leave it in your computer folder for the rest of your days (not that I've ever done that...)? What about a timeline? SMART goals are almost a cliche at this point, but that's because they actually work.

So, my goal here would be, I want to write a full-length YA novel that I edit well enough to be accepted by a reputable publisher within a year.

2. Make a list of steps that you need to take in order to accomplish this goal. Maybe it's just because I'm a list person, but I love this step. I've also learned to be super ridiculously specific in this too. There is no step too small. If "write a 8 sentence paragraph" helps you work toward your goal, then that's what it does. I also deal with depression, personally, so small steps are super helpful to me. Sometimes "get out of bed" is an important accomplishment in my day.

My list might look something like this:

1. Plan out my novel in detail. Make sure it has a beginning, middle, and end, and that there's a decent outline of what happens in each chapter. (this could actually be a couple steps, and it will be broken down later, but for concision, this is how things are right now.)
2. Write a first draft- (Nanowrimo? Make sure this happens in 1 month)
3. REWRITE- don't just edit! Full on copy everything word for word. I'll allow two months for this, because it's a painful process. Make sure to note rhetorical devices such as symbolism, imagery, and foreshadowing that may or may not be accidental, and flesh those out more.
4. Read it aloud to myself, in its entirety. Stop when I hit something I don't like, or that sounds weird.
5. Once I have a draft you're fairly happy with, that is pretty much where the story might go, have a trusted friend read it. Print out one of those fancy pinterest-y question lists for editing and have them fill it out. Tell them my concerns before they read it, and ask them to look for those things.
6. Make the changes they tell me to, if I agree with them.
7. Close read for grammar.
8. Do any more changes until I'm in love with what I wrote.
9. Submit it to as many publishing companies as possible, or hire an agent to do that for me. As I get feedback, take it into account and fix what you think needs to be fixed. Remember that it's just someone's opinion, albeit someone who has a lot of experience in this business. Take what they say with a grain of salt.
10. Keep submitting!

3. Create a timeline. You can kind of do this concurrently with step 2, because you might want to write out daily steps to accomplish your goal. For instance, if your goal is to lose 20 pounds, there are probably things you would do every day to help you lose those 20 pounds. Also: make sure that your timeline is doable. Make sure you're working on one thing at a time. Writing is a pretty easy one to work on one thing at a time with, but like don't all of a sudden decide you're going to completely change your life one day and start a new diet and exercise plan and also sign up for a 5k. You're going to get burnt out quick.

So my timeline would look something like this: Step 1- I would probably say that I want to spend an hour each day for the first week making my outline. Then for step 2, I might want to start Nanowrimo (which is national novel writing month, but can be done in any month, and is an excellent way to get a super rough draft of a novel) the week after, or wait for the first of the month and do it then, because then I'll have more of a community as I do it.

4. Create an accountability source. Whether it's blogging about it, having a friend ask you about it every week, or even just checking up on it every week during weekly planning if you're self motivated and super good at that kind of thing, make sure there's SOMETHING keeping you accountable in a way that works for you.

5. Adjust as needed. Stuff happens. Roadblocks come up, you often need more time than you thought, you realize this wasn't exactly what you wanted and you want to work towards something else. Whatever it is, be willing to adjust, but keep working hard!

6. Do it! Seriously probably the hardest part of all this. I really really like setting goals and planning out how I will accomplish it, but as far as the actual nitty gritty of the task goes, I hate that part. This is also where that whole decision fatigue thing comes in. Make it harder for you not to work on your goal. Schedule time in the library to work on your novel. Bonus points if you get someone expecting you to go there. Make an appointment with a personal trainer every week. Prepare all your meals in advance so it's easier to heat one of those up than it is to go through the drive through at your local McDonald's. Whatever you can do to make it stupid easy to accomplish your goals, do it. Also, make sure you have something to motivate you when all you would rather do is sleep or watch something on Netflix. Make a workout playlist and listen to it. Read articles on what your goal is about. Become completely obsessed with it. Your friends will forgive you eventually. Join a community of people who are working on the same thing, so you can talk to them about it instead of friends that couldn't care less (been there, done that. Apparently people don't want to hear about my novel 24/7).

Anyway, those are the things that I have learned will help me actually accomplish my goals. What things have helped you?

Monday, Meal Prep, and Minimalism

Hey Y'all!
It's Monday, and I feel more optimistic about this goal than I have about any of my other goals. Literally, it's so simple- it's stupid simple. I don't have to change anything I do, I just have to record it. But in recording it, it therefore changes what I do. It's super cool, right?

Like, today, for breakfast, I had turkey sausage, over easy eggs, and a protein smoothie with frozen berries and 100% fruit juice in it. It was amazing! And super healthy, too. I've also found a new thing to do when I'm bored at work (which is pretty much always right now)- meal plan! I've discovered that I really like trying to match my goals as closely as possible by putting together meals that I'll enjoy eating. Hopefully, I'll make use of this when I go out to school. We'll just have to see.

Just FYI- I don't want this blog to be a "here's my weightloss story, and you too can do this if you buy my ebook, and let's talk about gainz and how swole I'm getting". That's the kind of blog my brother would write (love ya bro), but really, I'd rather this be about goal setting, religion, and minimalism more than anything else. It just so happens that one of my goals is to become healthier, which for me, means losing some weight.

Source

Right now in my life, I am trying to become more minimalist- not just in things I own, but ways I spend my time. I am trying to avoid "Decision fatigue", or in other words, becoming so exhausted from making little decisions that you don't have energy to make the bigger decisions. In avoiding making too many little decisions constantly, I reduce my decision fatigue. For instance, instead of having a whole wide world of breakfast choices out there, I have two breakfast choices, both of which work within my goals. Voila~ killing two birds with one stone. Capsule wardrobes are another example of this. Everything already goes together, so just grab a top and a bottom out of your closet and you're good to go. I'm also trying to incorporate a morning and evening routine into my life, so that I can function on autopilot as far as the things that are supposed to be routine goes, (brushing my teeth, washing my face, putting on makeup) so that I can be focused on things like what I'm studying in my scriptures, what creative pursuits I'm working on, people I can help, etc.

What goals are you guys working on?

Another update.... (Let's try this again)

My Fitness Pal shows me where I'm at in my macronutrients (carbohydrate, protein and fats) and my calorie goals. I'm sure there's other apps out there that do this, this is just the one I've had the best experiences with.

I set goals to do things, and they never come to fruition. Anyone else have that experience?
Anyway. I have realized something important. I need to slow down. When I set goals, I want to do all the things, all at once. And it turns out that's not very sustainable. So let's slow this thing down a bit, shall we?

Right now, I'm working on my nutrition. I have been struggling for a while with my weight and cholesterol, and I just really want to nourish and take care of my body, instead of neglecting it as I have been. So I saw a nutritionist last week, and she gave me some really cool ideas to try!!

This week, I'm going to start by logging my foods.
The best place I've found so far for logging food is by far Myfitnesspal. It has the most comprehensive list of items, and you can search by barcode, and they have lots of restaurant chains' menus on there, so you can just browse those and input them. And if you can't find an exact match, you can either add it manually if you have the nutrition facts or recipe, or you can just find an approximation that someone else put in at some point.

So it turns out that keeping a food diary has been pretty well researched. This article from the Journal of the Academy of  Nutrition and Dietetics is a pretty good meta-analysis of how you are significantly more likely to reach your weightloss goal. Hopefully, starting with this will make it easier to reach my other goals later!

What ways have you been able to get over that hurdle of wanting to do all the things at once? Comment below!~

Finally, PROGRESS

I love setting goals. That's like my favorite thing to do. I do it while playing video games, doing homework, reading my scriptures, looking toward the future, goals are like, my thing. Which is great, because depression responds well to setting goals. Except, I think that also precludes keeping them. Which is way harder. I'm bad at accomplishing my goals. So, if you remember, at the beginning of the summer, I wanted to go to the temple every week, be healthy enough to hike timp, and read my scriptures all the time or something like that. (This is from memory, because I can't be bothered to look back on it.) If you were to talk to me a week ago, I'd tell you that I'd fallen flat, and just absolutely failed. And I did, for a while. I wasn't working out, reading the scriptures was a struggle, and getting to the temple every week was even harder. I pushed all my friends away except for like one, and everything was just HARD. But guys! I'M MAKING ACTUAL PROGRESS ON MY GOALS! First and foremost, is exercise. Can I just tell you how hard it is for me to exercise?? It has been the dreaded thing of my life. I remember when I was little, eating whatever I wanted because it wouldn't make a difference yet, and adults telling me that one day, I would have to eat healthy and work out all the time or my body would go to pot. And my heart sank, because all I wanted to do was eat junk food and read. 

Nothing much has changed. 

I've always hated playing sports, or really anything that gets my heart rate up. Working out is like falling asleep: I have to trick myself into it. And at least with sleep, it's something I WANT to do. 

But guess what? Today makes 3 days of working out. IN A ROW. I'ma share with you the magical star alignment that allowed me to accomplish this feat (and hopefully keep it going?). 

1. I want to do something that will help me relieve stress and tension. 

2. They have yoga classes at BYU.

3. It costs $45 to buy the pass that gets you into those yoga classes.

4. My mom said if I actually will use it, she'll actually buy it for me. Which is great, because I have like $-10 right now, and it sucks. 

So, to prove to myself and to my mom that I'll work out, I started running. (Note: by "running" in this post, just imagine a nice slow jog. That's where I'm at right now.)

There's this app called C25k which is short for couch to 5k. I thought, hey. I'm sitting on my couch right now! This is ideal! So I downloaded it, started the "Running" station on pandora, and set off running around my neighborhood.

So apparently, it doesn't actually start off on the couch. It's more like, expecting that you actually are capable of like, running sometimes. I kind of can run? Sort of? Anyway, so the first workout was grueling to me. It had you warm up for 5 minutes, run for a minute, walk for 90 seconds, repeat. EIGHT. TIMES. That's a total of eight (8) minutes ran within a twenty (20) minute period. wut. 

So my first day, I managed to do 4 rounds of running/walking. And I went home, and I accounted to my mom my accomplishment, which I was super proud of, tbh. Then, walking home from institute that night, I told my lovely friends Haley and Rachel about it. So the next day, I wake up to a text from Haley: "Alicia! What time are you going running?" Literally. That text like actually woke me up. So I was like.. "uhhh idk" And she said that telling people when she was planning on going running was something that helped make sure she did it. And thus comes into the story the next person to whom I am accountable. 

Anywho, this day was different. Because I found out that in the suite of apps that C25k's creators, zen whateverness, they have a pushup app, a situp app, and a 7 minute workout app. Let me tell you, I have always wanted to be able to do tons of pushups. Also, my belly is my least favorite part of me. And a 7 minute workout is super great for burning through the sugar so you can burn fat throughout the rest of your day. So I was like, ooh! I can do these things before running! Yay! 

I was wrong. But, I found out what I want to do every day that I'm not running. So that's fun. Also, the pushup and situps apps start really easy. It's like, do two pushups. Now rest for a minute. Yaaassss. 

And today. TODAY. Dang guys. I'm so proud of myself today. So today I woke up, and I was like, ugh. I have to do a bajillion things today, and I have to work out, and it's already 10, and... ungh. So, here's what happened. I rolled out of bed, and put on clothes that I could run in. That were conveniently on my floor. Then, I went and I got myself some water and drank that. And then I drank a breakfast shake. Then, I procrastinated a bit, sat in our blanket fort and played 2048, you know, that kind of thing. Finally, I was like, ooh. I checked out like 1000 (only slightly exaggerating) books about fitness and nutrition yesterday. I should read one. And I found one about fighting depression, because, ya know. I have that. Also, I'm a psychology nerd. And, lo and behold, there was a section on working out. And I learned a lot of cool things that I've been ignoring when I look at treatments for depression because I hate working out. Here's some cool things about what working out does for your brain that you probably don't know about: 

• It promotes the growth of new brain cells and regulates brain chemicals, otherwise known as neurotransmitters, otherwise known as THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE and also what my medication regulates to keep me feeling good.
• increases feelings of confidence, self-esteem, competence, and sense of mastery. (So true. I literally brag for an hour every time I work out.)
• has a positive effect on your mood. 
• improves your sense of well-being. 
• releases the "feel good" hormones. (endorphins). Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. And happy people don't kill their husbands. (Taken almost verbatim from "Managing your depression" By Susan J. Noonan, M.D, M.P.H. with commentary by myself and Legally Blonde)  

Not only that, but it's helping me focus more on making sure I have lots of protein in my diet, and is helping me not eat super unhealthy, which is cool. Anyway, so I learned that stuff, and so I magically decided to go on a run, even though it is hot out and I'd have to go to the track, which I'd never been to and I was worried I would like, embarrass myself because I am this newbie and whatever. (BTW, I walked into the track, and the second I got there, someone jogged past who looked a lot like me but boy version, so God was just helping me feel a lot more comfortable today or something). AND, GUESS WHAT. I made it through AN ENTIRE WORKOUT FROM C25K. That means, that I ran for a total of 8 minutes in between 90 second spurts of walking. I may have felt like I wanted to throw up, but I DIDN'T. So BOOYAH HATERS. I'M THE EFFING CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. 

Anyway, so here's to next week being as great as this one exercise-wise. I'm trying really hard to make it work, but I start work at BYUstore next week, so I won't have as much time to work up to it, ya feel me? 

As for the rest of my goals, I went to the temple this week with my friend Hannah, and I went to the Manti temple last week, so that's two weeks in a row. And, I've been doing super good with reading the Book of Mormon, helped along by the fact that my ward reads it together every night. And the fact that I like to play brainless games on my computer which is the perfect opportunities to listen to conference talks and make me feel like I'm not wasting time. 

That was a really long post, but I am just so excited and I want to keep going into the school year, so I'm praying for that right now. 

Update on my life.

So this blog has not turned out to be the documentation of life changing experiences the way I expected. Nevertheless, my life has indeed changed, and for the better.
LIFE UPDATE:
I started a job at a local pizza restaurant near my apartment in July, and was expecting to work there for the foreseeable future. I worked there... a month. My anxiety got the best of me, and I found it very difficult to handle the double shifts they often scheduled me for. I missed multiple shifts, calling in sick, and was super nauseous at the ones I actually went to. While my coworkers were supportive, I felt like I was drowning, and I just couldn't handle the stress the job was giving me.
My mom gave me a way out, and I took it, thinking I was doing the right thing. Now, I'm not so sure, but it's what happened and I learned a lot. I decided to move to Idaho for a month and live with my grandparents and help my grandma out as she wasn't eating and she was just all around in bad health. I was super excited to cook for her, and spend time with them and my cousins, because I've never really gotten to know any of them. I felt like this was a great idea because 1. I didn't have to work. 2. I could help my grandma, and be all selfless and stuff. 3. Cooking food? Hello!!! 4. I could work on developing good habits before school started.
Well, I lasted a week. I liked not having to work, and cooking, but my grandma was really hard to be around. The local Kmart legitimately has a codeword for her on their radios for when she comes in the store because she is a shopoholic. She'd run off and drive somewhere, which would normally be fine, but she's almost always heavily medicated. My family is very dysfunctional, and I've never really lived in that kind of environment, and it was just really toxic. But I did get to hang out with some awesome cousins of mine, and cook for my grandma, and she's been gaining more weight as I understand. Most likely due to her pixie stick addiction, but weight is weight, right? Anyway, long boring post, but a much more interesting (and probably just as long) post is coming your way soon. :)